this is for the birds

I have so much guilt about how it all went down.

I have mismanaged this entire thing so thoroughly.

There's no point wishing I could go back. I can't. Even if I did go back I'd miss out on some hard-learned lessons that I probably needed, but goddammit, there's other ways of learning those lessons. Isn't there? I have regrets about the way I handled so many things. If I have to accept that those things had to happen, fine, but why didn't I stop and think? Why don't I ever stop and think? Why do I always just go off on what I'm feeling at the moment? Hurry up and go, that's me, all the time. Never stop to smell the fucking roses, never stop to consider where all the roads might lead. Just do what feels good and what I want at the time. Selfish. Stupid.

In other weirder news, I downloaded an app called Co-Star that Molly was talking about on Facebook. It takes your DOB, the time you were born, and where you were born to provide a very customized horoscope for you. I love reading my horoscope and it's been pretty entertaining and interesting. I just checked it and lo and behold:

Weird.

All this also may be stemming from my being a ketchup packet of sexual tension.

I have some major venting to do about work but I'll do that elsewhere.

-rae