The day that never comes

Haven't really had the need to write lately. Apart from the busy (and fun) weekend, each day drains into the other. Though, I have to say-the late shift could have been worse. We'll see tomorrow, though.

Been watching Californication again (such a good show) and was dismayed to see that the whole collection costs $129.99 on iTunes, but that's what you get for quality. I miss those COVID pity prices.

Posted a 'no politics please' request on my birthday event. I know certain people are going to think that it doesn't apply to them but hopefully we'll all be in the water and nothing will pop off. I had to hide several members of my family because the trolling thing was getting super annoying. At some point, it's like OKAY WE KNOW WHAT YOU THINK AND WHO YOU'RE VOTING FOR, GIVE IT A REST ALREADY. What's going to happen is going to happen-some petty replies on a few FB posts isn't going to change a damn thing, nor will it change anyone's minds. In November I think I'm just going to hole up in my apartment and throw my phone out of the window. It's going to get nasty. I understand the future of our country is an important subject, but as long as there's hypocritical Karens and asshole Kens out there, we're all fucked anyway. Putting a mask order on the whole country realllyyyy brought out our true colors. People are gonna do what they wanna do regardless, apparently, and no amount of bitching on FB is gonna do a goddamn thing. I guess some people assume that negative word vomit is actually making a change. I don't know, maybe I'm just an ignorant asshole, part of the problem. I don't even vote because I just don't see the point. The whole game is rigged. The best you can do is to ride the wave and hope to God you have enough survival skills built up. I'm sure by the time I'm older and my social security is shot to shit, I'll give a damn, but hopefully by then we'll all be living in the Oasis or on the moon or buried under 10,000lbs of nuclear fallout debris. Sorry I'm not Susie Sunshine about it. Two tears in a bucket, motherfuck it.

I suppose I should get that whole negative nihilistic thing under control, because who knows? It is very possible we're going to be thrust into the world of Black Mirror and/or Upload where our every expression, word, or action is rated by the rest of the jackasses out there and that score determines our lifestyle. Note to self-learn to smile more. Karens all over the world are eager to tell me which house, car, or job I should deserve! :D :D :D :D :D

I think the monotony of this week is getting to me. I've been in the habit of popping two Buspies every morning so I don't strangle people and I forgot today.

I guess I get so negative sometimes because it's a lot easier than doing the whole 'what if' thing and having my brain start surfing the What If channel and before I know it I've created this whole network of hopeful outcomes that probably aren't real. It's one of the benefits of living on my own-I can be as blah as I want, and nobody ever gets frustrated with me. And then it passes, as it usually does.

Today's pointless book review is All The Light We Cannot See, by Anthony Doerr. It's an awesome WWII story about a blind girl whose father works in a natural museum and is tasked with hiding a precious stone from the Nazis. They flee Paris to go to another French seaside town where they live with their eccentric uncle while the Nazis occupy their city. The book comes from three points of view-the blind girl, whose name is Marie, a Sgt Major with the SS who is tasked with finding all of the precious jewels in Europe so that Hitler can build a museum of treasures and is therefore hunting down this jewel, and a young German kid from a coal mining town who loves putting radios together and gets recruited into Hitler Youth, even though he doesn't really think it's his bag, baby. The father of the blind girl has a habit of creating these huge dioramas of the cities they live in so that she can feel them with her fingers and therefore know how to get around. He hides the stone in one of these little houses and doesn't tell her. The Germans get word of him and catch him, and his family never finds him again. Marie gets involved in the Resistance, smuggling bread with secret notes inside of it so that her uncle can broadcast it over his radio in the attic. Shit gets dire, and on one of these little excursions, Marie gets held up. Her uncle goes out to find her, gets picked up by the Nazis, and she returns home to emptiness. The jewel hunting Nazi finally picks up that the jewel is there and enters the house. Pretty tense shit. If I were a blind girl in a six story house with a psycho Nazi wandering around and I couldn't figure out where he was, I'd fall the fuck out. Long story short, the German kid from earlier is stationed in this French town, and he's been listening to her broadcasting, and he goes to find her, but not to kill her. He ends up killing the psycho Nazi and helps her escape while the Americans bomb the piss out of the Germans. On the way, she throws the jewel into the ocean because it's just too much goddamn trouble. Unfortunately, your boy, who's been drinking sludgy paint water all this time, gets sick, gets sent to a POW hospital, starts hallucinating, tries to run away, and steps on a land mine that his own people laid down. Blind chick lives to 90 years old. There's more nuances to the story, of course, but who gives a shit? It's so beautifully written.

Kinda makes you think, even if it is fiction-if a blind sixteen year old has enough balls to wander through a house that's directly in the path of German shells and is occupied by a monster, what the hell is there really, to be scared of? People bitch and bitch about the 'monsters' running this country, but put them in 1940's France with the SS knocking on their doors and they'd change their perspective pretty quickly. Back then they didn't have FB and shit to spread the word. They had to rely on baking messages into bread and stuff like that. Oh well, not sure what my point is. Just talking out of my ass.

Things on schedule for this weekend: I have no clue besides grocery shopping. Sept 18th needs to get here, now.

Are you reading out of habit

Or are you waiting to see your name in here?

-Rae