Maybe

Well, it’s finally here.

The magic day.

The day we’ve all been clawing toward since Covid wrestled its way across the border and made itself a very unwanted guest.

I didn’t even think of it until someone posted a meme, but it’s incredible how we all think that once the clock strikes 12 and it becomes 1/1/21, the masks will disappear, the lockdowns will melt away, and life will go back to the same terrifying and boring cycle it was before. I was one of those people who for some stupid reason thought that things would change and when I saw that meme I thought “Jesus, am I really that naive?”

But we’ve all been in a form of jail since March and I guess it’s like being in prison and passing the halfway point and needing to believe that the time will suddenly begin to sprint forward towards parole. This vaccine may save us, but it’s not going to do it tomorrow.

I had forgotten all about it but Scott said today that normally we’d be preparing for con right now, but that’s not going to happen. I haven’t skipped a con since 2011. Kinda depressing.

And yet...

I promised myself that I wouldn’t start this year off like an anxious asshole. I took a leap and got my new job (which is going to go well, hopefully) and I am going to try to make better decisions this year. Even if Wizard World isn’t happening, we may get a chance at Big Easy and of course at Oddities, if Covid fucks off.

I hope that we manage to get that extra stim but that droopy vagina neck twat senator or whatever he is is blocking it. It’d definitely come in handy. Pay off a few bills, get Jack a haircut, get me a haircut, get a brake job. I don‘t even know if they’re doing merit bumps this year at Ochsner.

My goal for this year is to be a more relaxed person. I ordered some of those CBD gummies that Liz showed me and I am doing my best to take my pill every morning. I’ve been having a lot of trouble focusing so I wanna get that under control. The only thing that’s bugging me right now is Sunlake and how much they’re gonna go up on rent. Luckily, my new pay rate went into effect so hopefully my check is better and I don’t have to worry about it. I don’t worry as much about $ as I used to. It got so exhausting, like trying to contain a hurricane in the palm of my hand. I used to worry about so many stupid things, and then I moved out on my own and had to do some serious work on my priorities. I’ve made a lot of stupid decisions but I’ve learnt a lot about what I should worry about and what I shouldn’t waste energy on.

I haven’t gone to the cemetery in ages so I might do that this weekend. Hopefully that stim comes in.

Here goes nothing.