in the city where the sun don't set

So I got locked out of my Super Life Ruining Blog and I really don't feel like creating another one so I'll just write in here until I find the energy to hack my way into the other one because I have some Life Ruining Shit to write.

So on Monday at the last minute I decided to get some people together (or attempt to) for Mardi Gras down on Severn. Scott and I ran to Walmart after work for things and I managed to rouse him up at 8. It ended up being a total blast. Tee was out there, and my sister and Jody and the kids came out, plus Lina, Connor & Sonya, the gays, and Zach and Holly. We danced and drank and caught a ton of shit, even though the parades were A LOT shorter than I remember, but then someone told me they put a lot of restrictions on Metairie parades this year. Didn't fuss me none; by the time 2 or 3 rolled around I was exhausted as fuck. We went to Shake Shack with dem bois and Holly and then came back to mine. I wanted to sleep but I had too many great pictures to upload. It took me until the PM but I got it done. I really don't use Portrait mode on my iPhone enough.

On Wednesday I had planned to relax so that I would be ready for Kevin Smith that night, but I had ordered a Jay & Silent Bob shirt a week before that I really wanted to wear that night and Amazon of course had to fuck it up and make it late. After making calls to USPS and Amazon both and then going to the post office twice, both of them were playing the 'we don't have it, they do' game with me and I was not a happy camper. They did give me some promotional credits but that wasn't the point. I wore my Leia shirt. Sid came over and I drove us downtown and we froze our asses off waiting for them to let us in at the Joy. Once getting in there we discovered we had nailed the jackpot-third row from the stage, pretty smack dab in the center. It was one of the COOLEST things I had ever been to. He came out, talked for a bit, introduced Jay (!!!) and we watched the movie, which I've seen twice before but is much different when you're in a huge crowd of Kevin Smith fans and everyone's cheering. They came out, did a Q&A, and brought out his wife, his daughter, and Shannon Elizabeth (Nadia of American Pie) fame, which we didn't expect at all. The Q&A was fun and he even married two people while we were there, the couple sitting right in front of us. He was very open and chill (probably smoked a fat bowl before coming out) and really made you feel like you knew him and Ben Affleck and all of the other famous people he rubs elbows with. After the Q&A we hung around for our photo op. By this time it was almost midnight. It didn't take forever for them to call us but I was nervous because I didn't want to derp or look stupid or blink, which I have a habit of doing. It turns out that Kevin Smith is extremely affectionate. He gave me three hugs alone and even called me back so that Sid and I could both get a pic with him. He was very nice and I had a fucking blast. The only shitty thing was that Jay for some reason didn't take a pic with us; maybe he was tired, but I can live with that. He did mention that they would be filming Mallrats 2 down here and Sid and I were talking about maybe signing up to be extras, which is something I've always wanted to do.

It was a great night, but old instincts die hard. I'm starting to wonder if those instincts will ever go away.

In other news, last night I finally made myself sit down and figure out my laptop situation. For ages, my laptop has had very little space on it because of my photos, which means every time I need to add a new batch, I have to go through iCloud and delete all sorts of bullshit. It's very time consuming and frustrating. So I took a chance and unsynced my odrive (the 3rd party I use to store my photos through Amazon) and was not only able to fix the storage issue, but also able to upgrade to Catalina, which is super nice. I resynced everything, but that means all of my photos have to be manually resynced and tagged again, which is a pain in the fucking dick, but it gives me something to do. I'm glad I was able to fix this issue because I know I'm going to have a FUCKTON of photos from Disney, which, by the way, is like 10 days away, and I haven't even started packing yet, which is very weird for me, but I am doing my best to not unnecessarily stress myself out. I decided to come in this weekend to work so I can get a few hours on this check (this is my disney check) and the next because I won't have any OT when I come back, and I also don't want Katie and Karen to be in the shit when I'm gone. I'm going to come in tomorrow, too, and tonight I'm going to start gathering small things and packing my war bag (the bag I'm bringing to the parks).

Sid agreed to watch Jack, which I hated to ask him for but I know Jack is going to bark and bark and bark while I'm gone and I don't feel like getting kicked out of my apartment, and plus Scott works long hours and I don't want Jack sitting there alone all that time. Must buy big food box. I really want to buy two but I have to wait and see what my check is. There are a few things I still need to get, like dark hair dye to cover my blue when I come back, a luggage lock for my duffel (which is going to carry all of my cameras) and if I have a little $ maybe I can get some more eyeliner wands. I still owe money to Mom for the CBD gummies she got us (I'm excited for Disney but the idea of the crowds, not so much) and I have to put aside some $ for my haircut (next Sat with Jena). I have to fix my printer (it decided to stop working and it's really getting on my last gay nerve) and find a haircut I want. I'm going to do those things tonight.

As I said before, I am trying to take it easy with myself. I used to drive myself crazy (and probably Sid and Lacey too) with all of my stressing out before a trip. By the time the trip came around, I was mentally exhausted. I don't want to do that to myself now because as Mom warned us, this is NOT going to be a relaxing vacation. Shit, last night I was working on my photos and had a terrible thought- "what if I oversleep and miss my plane?" and then I started worrying about if I'm even going to be able to sleep at all. Before we used to leave for Gatlinburg, I was never able to get any sleep beforehand, and I don't usually like to sleep in a car. The Tuesday before we leave I'm working till 3:30, then coming home and dying my hair. Which means everything needs to be ready to go by Monday night, so after I dye my hair I can go lie down. From the second we get off the plane in Florida and get to the park, we're going to be doing stuff, since we probably can't check into our hotel until 3 or 4, and our flight is at 6am. I was planning on working the Sunday before we leave, but it really depends on how much I can get done. Next Thursday I plan on starting all my laundry and laying out my clothes. I'll have enough time. I always do. My packing/to do list is two pages long.

The more I keep thinking about things, the more it all curls up into this massive and snarled knot, and I know that in order for it to untangle, I have to take a few steps back. Sometimes you have to leave a mess alone until your mind is clearer, or it sorts itself out. My brain has been trying to be dickish and making me think all sorts of bad and hurtful things, but that's when I get my ass up off of the bed or the couch and swallow a pill, read a book, go watch TV. Jealousy, you know, is all the fun you think they're having.

And since I really don't drink that much anymore, I have to find ways to numb that thought, since there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

things to buy

-gum (for plane)

-hair dye

-lots of water packs

things to do-

-find font for Mom to label my Yeti

-fix printer

-find haircut

-figure out war bag

-take pill!

-Rae