Bah Humbug

Holy shit, I cannot WAIT to get out of here.

Every time someone brings me an impossible scheduling slip, every time a patient thinks they're the only patient we see, I wonder what I would have done if I wouldn't have gotten this new job, because this one is becoming untenable. It is becoming impossible to manage all of these expectations.

I still haven't gotten any word as to where I need to go and what I need to do week after next, but I'm sure they'll be messaging me next week. Joanie thinks I'll be training from home but I'm sure I'll have to go into the city to get my laptop and stuff.

I know I sound like a total bitch, but I can't stand Christmas. I used to absolutely love it, but now all I see when this time of the year comes around is stress, stress, and more stress. It is my fault that I'm too dumb and lazy to start around September, but even then I'd probably still be freaking out. As it is, I got a $300 bonus this check and I'm still freaking out. I had a panic attack this morning on the way to work and now I can't think straight. I'm also here till 7 and have one goddamn 6:45 patient, which I want to try to move if I can.

I plan on waking up on Saturday and going get the shopping done early so I can come home and get it all done and wrapped up so I can get this weight off of my shoulders. If I don't keep moving, this stress is going to immobilize me. I have so many errands to run this weekend and things to do. I need to go through my apartment and have a Throwing Out party so I can get rid of stuff I don't need. Simplify. When I get home tonight I'm going to try and finish the book for Granny so I can order that Saturday morning and make a list of things to do Saturday so I don't forget stuff.

I don't have as many duties at work as I usually do because I'm having to show them to Nina, but I can't concentrate anyway.

Rae