Ain't no rest for the wicked

So I thought I had set up my first shrink appointment, when, lo and behold, they message me back saying that they don't really treat my kind of bullshit and to call such and such number for more help. I called the number, their next appointment for a new patient is in April. None of them work past 4, either, and of course none of them work on weekends, and by April I won't have the downtime to try and do it in the middle of the day. I want to give this my full attention and I can't do that if I'm constantly running back and forth to my computer. I'm frustrated, but I'm gonna keep looking for more options, even if it's one of those TalkSpace apps. My only thing with that is I don't want to relay all this shit to different people every time and I think for those it's if you're having a severe mental health crisis in that moment so they can talk you down. I'm gonna try the EAP program again. Too bad I don't get a half day like I did with OTW, that's one of the few benefits I had working over there.

The first thing I have to do is regulate my medicine and see if that helps clear up some of the junk. I fell asleep on my couch last night around 4am and I kept dreaming about holes in my walls, like someone had ripped out my posters and paintings.

I lost access to my other Wix blog, the deep dark secret one, but I'm in the process of trying to get it back. Going to try and refrain from the negativity in here.

moves and countermoves; that's all life is.