born to run

And so is nearly the end of my first year alone.

Of course, when I say alone, I mean single. It might have been a very strange, very scary, very unsettling year, but I can say I wasn't alone, really. And when I felt alone, I had people to pull me out.

I'm glad it's over, and I'm sorry it had to ever happen. The year, not the circumstances that led me to it.

I'm a little melancholy, but I expected that tonight. New Years single is usually spent wondering where the target of your heart is, and if they're wondering where you are, and your place feels as if it's never held another human body besides yours and never will again, and the distance between the two of you shows itself for what it truly is. The world out there feels way too big and even if there are people everywhere and fireworks going off, you are the only person in the world, no matter where you are, or who you're with, because you’re not with the one you want to be with.

2020, please give us all a break. We sorely need it.

-Rae