more more more. Of what? Everything, she said.

No wonder I don't know how to let go. I'm a nostalgia whore.

I wonder if I'm gonna read this bullshit thing when I'm 70 and wonder why I ever thought detailing all the silly things that go on in my life is interesting. Oh well, if I'm senile I hope it makes me smile and shake my head and say, "Bitch, you still don't know shit."

Had a very nasty shock last night. I got home at 3:30 and took a bath (my baths only run 10 minutes at most now, I can't sit in there and read anymore) made myself some grits and started to watch LOTR Two Towers again, and then Scott texted wanting to know if I wanted to go swimming with Brad. I said sure, why not, so I ate and changed and grabbed towels. Went swimming for awhile and we decided we were hungry, so I went back to my apartment and changed out of wet clothes. While I was there Mom texted me saying "Universal studios ticket $330." I was like WTF?!

Originally Dad was going to buy our tickets to one park and all I thought I had to do was pay at least $170 to get into the other one (which was still stretching it but I really wanted to go see Harry Potter, and I knew Lacey wasn't going to FL without doing that again) so I called Mom and it ended up being really confusing, but the price is still $330, and they don't want to spend $1000 on one day, so it was up to me and Lacey to figure it out, but no matter how we cut it, it was going to be up in that range, so now I have to rearrange everything and figure something out. It depressed me greatly because I'm finally starting to get a firm hold on my finances and even right now I know I'm going to have to do surveys until I'm blue in the face just so I can afford everything. At this point, eating the whole week at Disney is going to put a SERIOUS dent in my finances, and that's not even touching the shit I wanna buy. But I can't do anything but figure it out. If it weren't Riley's first trip to Disney I wouldn't be bothering.

So after that I was kind of in a subdued mood, but I went back to Brad's and he drove us to Golden Corral and I swear to God that place is where dignity goes to die. I felt terrible when I left. Got home and went and laid down and read until I woke up at 3AM with "Oops I Did It Again" stuck in my head. I came in early (by this point I've got Uptown Funk looping in my brain) for a Webex meeting (boring but I got some work done and surveys completed and I got my bento box for Disney) and when I went back to my apartment to eat and let Jack out I decided to bother that credit union lady again because I need for something to give. I have paid my fucking dues and raised my credit and I'm tired of being fucking ignored. So I called her and she answered and I re-sent her all my paperwork and payoff letter and check stubs and here's to hoping that I can refinance my car because I am out of options.

Can't back out of Disney-everything's paid for and my plane ticket is bought and after this year I'm going to need something to look forward to.

If this fucking phone doesn't stop ringing I'm going to throw it outside.

Tomorrow I get to go to HHS and do my picture thing. Wanted to cut down on gas and time by just staying by my Mom's tomorrow night, but I won't be back till Saturday and I can't leave Jack alone that long, so I'm just going to go and return that frame to Hobby Lobby and then go home. Friday I've got my spa treatment and Saturday I've got Velvet Cactus. Hoping my birthday will be better than last year's-I went to Silver Slipper and was depressed the whole time, thinking about what I would probably have to do.

Going do more surveys. I have to make enough to buy Tee and Monica a baby shower gift.

-Rae