50pts

I haven't been writing much because I've been battling severe mood swings and trying my best to accumulate some other way of making money, because I'm tired of the struggle. Swagbucks has been doing me pretty good. In the past two weeks I've answered questions as a male, as a female, as my sister, as my mother, as some fictional dude in my story. I've answered questions about ladders and movies and cars and pain medications and TV shows and caulking and IT services and it goes on and on and on. Gotta say it's working. I made a $50 Southwest Airlines card for Disney, $20 in Walmart gift cards and even a $20 Amazon card. It's lucrative, but fuck me it's a lot of work. I do it when I'm home, sometimes when I'm at work, when I'm at the pool, when I'm in the tub. Sometimes I have to take a break because my brain hurts from answering so many retarded questions.

Last week at work was a doozy and I was very glad for the 3 day weekend, during which I holed up in my apartment, cleaned it, and did surveys and watched Sopranos and swam. On Sunday I went to Luling, dropped some boxes off for Holly, and visited my grandma, who hooked me up with some gumbo and potato salad. She also told me she was very proud of me for doing this on my own (well, I've had help, but her praise meant a lot to me because my grandma is fierce as fuck) Went to Monsanto Park and swung on the swings for awhile to clear my head. Stopped by Mom's and ate some chicken fettuccine, then went back home. Scott came over and we watched some more Hell's Kitchen (fuck him for getting me addicted to that show) and on Monday I woke up and cleaned and Mom, Riley and Autum came over and swam. It was a good weekend but I did not want it to end.

We held a goodbye party for Kelly the Friday after last and it was a lot of fun, took some good pictures. Scott, Stacey, Glenn, Derek, Lacey, Connor, Lina (with baby Sonya, first time I met her, she's so cute) Autum, and Mom showed up, which made Kelly very happy. We had a good time.

I'm gonna miss my Kellypants :(, but I never want to drink Sailor Jerry again.

Hoping to make enough Swagbucks to pay for my ticket to Big Easy Con. If I keep at it this week and attend one of those seminars tonight it should net me enough.

The new pills are making me dream very strange things. Not bad, just strange. They're also making me engage in weird OCD behaviors. They do calm me down, though. I've been able to stave off several mental breakdowns already.

This weekend I hope to have enough capital to pay my bills, get some groceries, and meet a friend downtown. The antisocial Rae that dwells like a gnome in my head keeps telling me to cancel on her, but I am making myself go. I have to. If I don't start yanking myself out of this bullshit, I'm going to go in and never come out and become one of those Japanese hikikomori.

Next up-get ticket for Big Easy Con, start saving up $ for Christmas, Oddities Fair and Alligator Festival. Which means ten thousand more surveys, but I'm not skinny enough to do cam work (not to mention I have some teaspoon of dignity left) and I don't have enough time to do anything else.

If I do things right I may make some raspberry chocolate chip cookies this weekend. We'll see.

Survey time.

-Rae