is this?

The older I get, the more I start to feel sorry for guys.

First it was my hormones raging, and I felt a newfound pity for what they go through in puberty. Could not be controlled or dampened or even reasoned with.

And now that my hormones have settled as much as they're probably going to settle before menopause enters the picture, I find myself relating to the way they're not big on saying how they feel. Maybe I feel it differently, being female, but nowadays it feels like everything I want to say is bottled up in my throat, and as much as I want to say the things I feel or state what I want, it feels like I am screaming with my mouth sewed shut. My pride and my sense of emotional survival, essential to my life right now, make up the stitches. There are so many things I want to say, so many things I want to express, and I just can't bring myself to do it. In my case, it's probably a good thing, since my inclination to wear my heart on my sleeve and give it all up has led me into some murky waters.

I'm just not used to it, and it's driving me crazy. Sometimes I wonder how we ever manage to form attachments that go beyond sex, because everyone these days is either too scared to say how they feel or too lazy to act on it.