easier to run

Last Thursday I got off at 12 and stopped at Brad's pool. Scott and Brad were there so I went and walked Jack and changed into my swimsuit, then went over there to swim. We decided that we'd go to this comic book store on Friday that Brad and Liz found in Covington, 2nd and Charles. After baking in the sun a bit, I went back to my apartment so Scott and Brad could go back and play video games. Got bored and went back over there for some company but they were playing Star Wars and were being boring so I went back home.

I got off at 2 on Friday and met Scott at my apartment. We got on the road with Brad and Liz about three, got to Covington without incident. That 2nd and Charles store is fucking amazing. Cheap ass books, tons to look at, pretty much every movie you could ever want, and the prices are amazing. It's definitely worth the drive. We must have spent almost two hours in there. I bought an R2 shirt and The Wolf of Wall Street book. The next time we go tubing and if we aren't too exhausted, it would be a blast to bring everyone there afterwards. After we left 2nd and Charles we decided to go and eat at Chimes, since it was too busy the last time we tried, after tubing. We didn't even wait that long. While they were waiting for a table I walked around back and found that they have a nature walk that leads down to the river and was even more pleased to see that they have goats back there. I got fried pickles (they were really good) and a club sandwich, which ended up being a ham and bacon sandwich after it was all said and done because I don't like my shit dressed and they only offered chicken instead of turkey. They had my framboise on tap, but they also had a new raspberry ale and I thought, to hell with it, try something new. It was okay, kinda beery tasting. Everything else was great, though. Even if we're not going tubing, taking a little ride across the lake for that store is worth it. There's also a Half Shell out there now, so no need to drive all the way to Biloxi for my favorite potatoes.

On Saturday Scott had some stuff to do with his Mom, so I went and ran some errands in town and went grocery shopping. When I got back it was raining, so we laid around and enjoyed the rain for a bit. Scott bought me a really nice Sons of Anarchy book, which was sweet of him. There was a Game Night at Liz's, but I'm still kind of in my self imposed exile from the world, so I stayed home and read my new book (just as good as the movie) and ate things that were bad for me and was just generally a fat slob. On Sunday Scott went to work and I went to LaPlace before it got too hot to get the steam cleaner, brought some tupperware back to Granny (she made me gumbo and potato salad last weekend, yum) and then went home and dragged that beast of a vacuum up three flights of stairs. It was worth it though, my apartment looks and smells good. I also kind of fixed my dishwasher. After cleaning was done I cooked myself breakfast and then went out to the pool, but I was too anxious to sit there and swim or tan, so I came back in and took a shower. Watched the rest of Tornado Hunters ( I loved that show, one of the hunters is super cute, even if he is Canadian, and he commented on one of my pictures, weee) and ate my chocolate milk pastry from District Donuts (super yum).

When we lived in Destrehan, I kept all of my pictures on a portable hard drive, since my big Mac was getting overloaded. In the process of moving it one day, my portable hard drive fell to the floor and broke, most of my old pictures lost forever. Since then I've been trying, without much luck, to find a recovery program that might be able to get them back. A year or so ago, I did. And it found those lost pictures. Only problem was, you had to pay $80 for the full program to recover them, and I wasn't even sure if it would work. Of course, now being on my own, there was no way I was going to possibly blow $80 on a chance like that, so I've been trying to find a way around it, and I have.

And it works.

I've been recovering shit left and right, which is a lot of work, making sure there are no duplicates, matching them up to the correct dates, and transferring them to backup, but it's keeping me busy, and needless to say, this new development makes me very happy. It also makes me happy that I found some medicine for Jack, who's been incredibly anxious as of late (and making me very anxious as well) so he's finally chilling the fuck out. I need to go back to my primary and get some more anti-anxiety medicine for myself, though. Xanax isn't cuttin' it.

I took over the tubing trip until Lacey gets back on track from moving, it's not till August. She's having a housewarming, Brad's having a birthday party, and of course there's Riley's birthday party in the middle of July, and then Mecha, but I'm not sure I'm going to that. If anything I may go to the afterparty, I don't know yet. Would rather conserve funds. Getting a lot better at that, too. When Lacey and I went to BR to go shopping to decorate her new apartment, we went in Boxlunch (a store I've been looking forward to seeing) my brain would look at things I thought I wanted and ask me, 'Do you really need that?' and I'd put it down. It's like that with everything now. I guess it's a good thing, me not learning to buy materialistic things. Besides, if I'm going through my hermit phases, what does it matter if I buy things to decorate my apartment? No one ever sees it, except for Scott.

I plan on going back into my cave relatively soon. Only poked my head out to take care of some business. I wish everyone would stop taking it so personally. If I blocked everyone out and then only spoke to one or two people, people get butthurt, so it's just easier to go quiet for everyone. Of course, it's not right for me to make everyone worry, so I guess I'll just post something on FB soon. Me doing this keeps me out of trouble, and it also alleviates my confusion about some parts of my life that I am struggling with. Do I get lonely? Fuck yeah. For ten years I was used to having someone at my side, always doing things with me, someone who I could tackle problems with, and now it's just me. It's going to take a long time to get used to. This is why I'm very glad I have my pics to work on. It's a big enough project to require all of my brainpower. I know my doing this irritates some people, but I refuse to feel sorry for trying to take care of myself. I refuse to. No one owns me. No one can dictate my time. I'm not going to kill myself. If I get sad, whooptee fucking doo, I get sad. I learn to deal with it. I know I don't have to go through it alone, I have plenty of people who are there for me, but what I am struggling with is something I have to deal with on my own. After Thursday I'm going back in the cave, will emerge in time for social obligations that I've already committed to.

There's a patient at work who knows I'm single and that I want to keep it that way, but they keep on trying to push me to be friends outside the office. They're not being rude or forceful, but it's not fun to have to play defense when work is already hectic as it is. I hope I don't have to do this for much longer. Some guys just can't get the hint when you try to keep it businesslike. I really don't want to have to take it to Richy because the patient is a nice guy, slight pushiness aside.

This week I didn't let Walmart fuck me sideways, and the third paycheck helped me out a lot. Hopefully once this stupid fucking TV gets paid off, my credit score will go up. As much as I like having a pool to swim in, the light bill is killing me, and it's not even August yet, so I'm hoping Sept and October get here ASAP. Need to buy my ticket for the oddities fair, too.

Going read.

-Rae