rollercoasters that only go up

After my setback this weekend, today is the first day I don't feel like I'm trying to attach balloons to a brick. Trust me, lesson learned.

I don't like feeling like eeyore. It's annoying as fuck, not just to me, but I'm sure to other people. I was told I always had 'negative energy' surrounding me, and while I'm never going to be a bubbly person, I sure as hell don't want to be that doom and gloom asshole that nobody wants to be around. So if I'm having a bad day, I'm going to try to confine it to my apartment, where I can be anything I want and only have me to piss off.

Since this past weekend, several things have come to light that have altered the future considerably. I am at a point in my life where I am not especially tolerant of certain behavior, and I don't care whether or not it makes me a bitch for not taking it, I'm not doing it. Right now I have one goal and that is to survive. Make money to keep a roof over my head, food in my stomach, bills paid. If anyone threatens my well being enough to where I cannot focus on that goal, I cannot deal with it. I refuse to deal with it. I am not a fucking afterthought. I do not have the time, the patience, nor the emotional energy to deal with it.

That being said, I am heavily disappointed in myself. I have to do better than this. Be better than this.

things to do

pick up Jack

get tires rotated/mounted

Lacey's bday

Clean up apartment

set up bills