high highs, low lows

So, it was a pretty awesome weekend.

Managed to own Friday afternoon like a boss. Instead of dragging my friends through grocery shopping, I did Walmart pickup. On my lunch break I ran and got some cheap stuff from Family Dollar. By the time I got to my apartment, Lacey, Chelsea, and Scott were there. Hung out for a few minutes, then we went to go get daiquiris and pick up my groceries from Walmart. I will def be using that in the future, super helpful. Ran back to apartment, picked up Scott, then went to Kenner Seafood for some noms. The roast beef was pretty good, but their 'cajun' potatoes confused me, still trying to work out that taste. Definitely not as amazing as Half Shell. By the time we left there, everyone wanted ice cream, so we stopped at Baskin Robbins, then hopped on the road to Luling to get Bryan. Ran into some ride issues for Tyler, tried to work it out but it remained unresolved for the time being. Hung around Dominoes for a minute until we got Bryan, then went to Walmart in Luling and got provisions, fucking Regions locked me out of my goddamn bank account, if I wouldn't have had so much going on I would have called them and flipped out. Good thing I beat them to the punch and got everything I really needed beforehand. Staying ahead of these motherfuckers is becoming a full time job. Got back to my apartment, chilled for awhile, but we had to hit the sack because we were getting up early.

I woke up around 5am and the weather was looking really bad, and I was upset because I knew everyone was gonna drop out. I couldn't go back to sleep. It started slacking off around 7:30, but everyone was being kind of ehhh. While I was walking Jack, Megan called and said she could get Tyler, so we all managed to rally together and decide that fuck it, let's go, we'll be wet anyway. Got on the road a little late, got breakfast in Covington, lady there looked at us like we were nuts in our bathing suits. Got to tubing, first and only ones there, those country people probably thought we lost our minds. Great turnout for tubing, especially with the weather. I was having fun before we left the parking lot. It didn't start raining until we got to the drop off point, and since the worst part was about to pass, Holly decided we'd hang out for about 20-30 minutes before getting in the water, which we did, and by the time we did it was just a drizzle.

It was one of the best tubing trips we ever took-my radio was working, everyone was in a good mood, the rain was refreshing. Scott got shit faced and ate leaves off of a trip in a fit of eroticized rage, Lacey cried for fifteen minutes, laughing at his dumb ass. We buried Cody with a mermaid and a dick and boobs, Glenn stared at the same patch of water for 2 hours, we generally just clowned around and enjoyed ourselves. I barely ate or drank. Near the end the sun started coming out, but by then we were hitting the obstacle course part of the river and a few times we almost ended up fucked in half, but we got through it. By the time we got to the last beach, we were exhausted. The plans were to go to Chimes, but by the time everyone got out and got dressed, the wait at Chimes was an hour and a half, so we decided to honor tradition and go to Steak and Shake, which was fucking delicious. By that time it was like 8pm and had started raining, so we got back on the road (Christ I hate that Causeway) and by the time we got to my apartment we were just beat half to death. We hit the sack and damn if that wasn't the best sleep.

Thought I'd sleep late but I got up as early as I always do, picked up a little around the apartment, tried to get a roll on my pictures, got a SHIT-TON of them. Chelsea left to go back to BHam, and Scott and Bryan and I lazed around for awhile, watched the Ted Bundy thing on Netflix, that was interesting. Mom and Autum wanted to come swimming with Riley, so they came and I sent them off to the pool with my pool key, then Scott and I took Bryan home. First we went to Sno-la so Bryan could try a Chantilly snowball. I got an orange dreamsicle, which sounds better than it tasted. Ran Bryan back home, went to Frank's in DA for GOT night snacks, stopped at Scott's house, then we went all the way to Trader Joe's because I have an addiction to their spicy potatoes. Also got me some fancy gouda cheese and some chocolate covered bananas. There were puppies for sale outside of Trader Joes, little Rottweilers, jesus christ they were so cute I just wanted to eat them. Got to cuddle one for a minute, puppy cuddling is always good therapy. Went back to my apartment, ate something, then decided to run to Walmart real quick to get some salsa and chips. By the time I got back it was almost time for GOT and Liz and Brad were there. Episode fucked my shit up. After they left, Scott and I fell asleep on the couch until I got us both up and we passed the fuck out.

Now it's Monday, and it's been insane, and when I tried to go deposit some money for something I need on Amazon, I look at my bank account and fucking HBO charged me twice for GOT, effectively putting me negative. I. Flipped. The. Fuck. Out.

Long story short, HBO is going to refund me and the bank is going to reverse the OD charge, but not till tomorrow. I have almost fucking had it. Technically it's not really Regions' fault this time around, but it's getting fucking old. I was super careful this paycheck and still got fucked. I'm beginning to lose hope. I really want to find a better bank, but it's so much to get moved around, and to move it around might screw up my rent account. I have to fucking use cash for everything now because I just can't trust my fucking bank. I have cancelled everything that can potentially fuck me. I had to do a lot of creative wrangling, but I satisfied all of my commitments this weekend.

I have to get an oil change at some point this week, get Mom a Mother's Day present, somehow find a way to go to Mother's Day dinner, and then I've got so much popping up that it feels like I'm in a nightmare of a video game. I'm glad I finally had a good weekend, but I am so fucking tired of having to fight the fucking universe. Because of that idiocy with Apple, I didn't get a chance to eat, so I'm here till 6 with nothing. I'm so fucking exhausted I can barely think. When I get home, I am getting into a bubble until I feel like getting out, and at this rate it might not be until Sunday night. I still have to upload the pictures and Amazon is giving me shit about having no more space, which is stupid because it's unlimited, so I gotta figure that out, but after I get some food and take my bath, I should be much more amendable.

The urge to drink is coming back, which is wildly unfortunate, because the last thing I need is that fucking shit again. I am feeling very overwhelmed, and I know it's because I'm very tired and very hungry and worn out from this weekend, but I just see no end to it unless I do something to dramatically alter my life, and it's been altered pretty dramatically as of late. Feels like the universe is punishing me for leaving, but it wasn't exactly helping me to stay. Shit feels as backwards as politics. Seems like the universe wants to remind me over and over that its the Head Cunt here, and don't you worry, universe, you are definitely Head Cunt.

I know I'll never be bubbly, but it's really getting fucking old, feeling so fucking negative all the time.

-Rae