sucks for you

I feel bad for the next poor bastard who decides to spend time on me.

I'm too old to make someone new pay for old mistakes, but it doesn't mean I'm going to allow the same ones to be made.

One thing's for sure, though-nobody will ever get far with me if they hold back.

Doesn't mean I want to date a total pussy, but I'm tired of having to drag every emotion to the goddamn surface. I'm only willing to go as far as the other person will. It doesn't mean that I'm going to change how I love, it just means I'm going to make sure they're worth it before I let myself do it. The right guy won't stop trying, and if he keeps trying, so will I.

Unfortunately, it seems I have a pattern of getting involved with guys who aren't very emotionally forthcoming. If I do happen across guys like that (I guess I'm predisposed) they can stay their ass very firmly in the friend zone, because I don't have time for guessing games. It doesn't mean that they're bad guys (far from it) but it just means we need different things, and there's nothing wrong with that. If you don't tell someone how you feel, well, you can't really be upset when they can't read your mind. Love cannot be assumed. It shouldn't be. I don't want to be in a relationship with a friend, and that's not a unreasonable expectation.

I don't have another ten years to give without good reason.

I have to go and do Adult Stuff today. Bleh.

In other news, Fatal Frame II is just as scary as I remember it. Looking forward to playing it some more, but having a few shots of whiskey is required. Might make some soup when I get home and chill on the couch. Been keeping the heat off in my apartment to keep the electric bill down, it's not so bad. It just means I get to cuddle up with blankets and Jack. Looking forward to going to cemetery on Saturday morning, I think it will do some good.

I backed up all my pictures to a separate drive. Looking forward to the day I can actually sit down and work on my library, but I think I need to go to Dr. Baig. Soon. The restlessness is getting way too out of hand, and I have too many things to do and too many things I like to do to be paralyzed by this fucking bullshit.

Insurance calls. Blegh.