order in the court

TGIF.

This morning I woke up to Regions royally fucking me up the dickhole, so after I get on the phone with them and scream to high heaven, I'm making plans to bank elsewhere, since my credit has improved significantly. I've been making a lot of Big Girl decisions lately, hopefully they are the right ones.

This whole 'take a mental vacation' isn't working out so well. Despite my need to isolate, shit keeps popping up, and it's not shit I can just put aside, either. Christ, I'll be glad when these hormones fuck off. I guess I'll have to wait till things calm down to have my emotional siesta. God, it'll feel good not to have to work tomorrow. Still not set on any parades. Sitting on my porch sounds like a great alternative. Would like to go see one with Riley, but I guess they're going to LaPlace parade.

Regions doesn't want to unfuck me, so I guess I'll just have to fuck them. Not that they'll ever feel it. I do not have the mental energy to fight them right now, it might have to wait until tomorrow.

It's been a month.

I guess it seems longer because we were over before the words were ever said.

As far as emotions go, well, like I said-not looking to feed anyone any of mine. I'll go as far as to say I am in stasis, though I do not know where I will end up. Things that used to send me into a panic don't seem to effect me anymore-I am in 'do what I have to do' mode. Or maybe I was wrong and I'm still in shock, and maybe I'll begin to wake up and feel the extent of my injuries the way you fall asleep-slowly, and then all at once.

-Rae

Because what I'm looking for are the answers To why these questions never go away