scrape

I've had twenty two evals today. That's ridiculous.

This past weekend was busy, as I predicted it would be. I was excited because it was supposed to rain all weekend (didn't really happen) but I had Friday off. Scott came over early on Friday to help me do some things, and we mostly lazed around and watched The Office until we had to go do some running for him. We had to go to LaPlace. Didn't stay there long.

Saturday was Chewy's party, so we went over there around 8ish. It was a good time. Lacey brought me home, and Scott stayed and played games until 5am. When my phone rang notifying me that there was someone at the gate, I nearly had a heart attack. We all slept for awhile and then ran to Gamestop to look around and then to Target. I wish I still had my old PS2, I'd kill to play some Fatal Frame, though I'm sure I'd never freaking sleep again, fucking Japanese weirdos.

Apartment still coming together. Made myself put up the rest of my books last night and vacuumed. Still have clothes to do, though I may wait till this weekend. I'm supposed to do something at Brad and Liz's on Saturday, but right now I feel like I need to batten down the hatches and weather whatever storm is on the horizon. Nobody seems to want to hang out for Mardi Gras, so I'm just going to lie around in my underwear on Tuesday.

Reading my old journals is making me want to reach out to people I definitely do not need to be reaching out to, and I'm sure as hell not going to do it. My days of chasing are over. Whatever I have left to give, I have to keep for myself.

Thinking about getting the implant. Not sure. Last time I went on birth control I lost my fucking mind. Not sure I'm ready to pile all of that on top of everything else. My insurance covers it 100%, but something about someone shoving a stick up into my arm makes me squeamish. We'll see.

I wish I were in Tennessee, mountain air in my lungs, everything left behind. I wish for so many things, and a great deal of those things can never happen, because they're all in opposition to one another.

I am waiting for something to begin.

I just don't know what it is yet.