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this thing has been nothing but depression and stress and anger lately, so I decided to write down a few good things that have happened. I'd love to say something petty right here, but that would not be positive, it would be negative. Which is something I am trying not to be.

So.

Anyway. Good things.

-I got a couch. It's a very nice couch. A very comfortable couch with a chaise, which is what I wanted.

- I got Jack last night, and having him in the bed with me definitely helped.

-I finally got some sleep, which is incredibly awesome since I feel like I haven't gotten any good rest lately.

-All the big stuff is up there.

-I made myself stop rushing on things. I'm wearing myself out trying to get everything up there, and I can't do that, so I'm going to take a little bit up at a time.

-Everyone has been very kind and generous to me.

-When I left the condo yesterday for the last time, I didn't cry.

-Scott helped me and my Dad move shit up to my apartment yesterday, which was a massive help, and he stayed over so I wasn't alone. We watched The Office and hung out and ate dinner.

-I racked up a shit-ton of Go365 money from those stairs, which helps when it comes to ordering things I need.

-All I really need now is a coffee table and a vacuum, and I can wait on that. A laundry basket can hold a bottle of Jack and dinner just the same as a coffee table. And if I need to borrow someone's vacuum for right now, NBD.

-I am going to download pictures from the baby shower tonight and give myself a break.

-I am going to try my best to stop worrying about money, though every five seconds I second guess myself and freak out, but there's nothing I can do now, and the first month is the hardest. I will find my groove. People do it with much less. Numbers are scary enough to me as is, so I don't know shit until I'm actually doing it.

-I thought Ochsner had fucked up and not paid me half of my check (which is half of my first rent) but they sent it as a paper check, which I am going to pick up tomorrow. So, that heart attack has been cancelled.

-I am still in shock and panic mode, but I am with it enough to realize that I can't make any sound decisions while I am in shock and panic mode, so I am trying my best to calm down so that I can think clearly. This means rest, and I am forcing myself to get some.

-I am angry, and while this may not seem like a positive, I'd rather be angry than sad. Anger gets shit done. Sadness just makes you wallow. I don't want to be angry forever, but at least I'm not sad. -All of my credit scores are finally excellent. Some bad debt got cleared off and it's looking really good. Hooray, adulting.

-When I got Jack back yesterday I gave him a hug and said, "It's just you and me now, bud" and I wanted to cry for a minute, but then he snuggled up against me and made me realize that it's not the end of the world.

The future has shifted quite a bit since Saturday, but the good thing is that I'm too tired to worry about it. Let the shit land where it will, but I can't waste any more time or energy worrying about people and their denial. Or their lies.