I've decided I'm not going to miss you.

How does anyone do this?

I've got a trip to Destin in a few weeks. My laundry exceeds my height because my boyfriend has a clothes fetish to rival a twelve year old girl's. 88% of our wardrobe is black, which means finding a certain outfit is like trying to find the Heart of the Ocean. Sid's dog eats coathangers, so there are never enough coathangers to hang up said clothes, and the second I get all of the clothes washed, it happens all over again. Laundry is going to kill me. I can feel it in my psychic tit.

Not to mention keeping the dogs fed and the kitchen clean and my office and washing dishes and keeping an eye on the bills and keeping up Instagram and watching my weight and finding time and $ to send the damn dogs to the vet and doing the website and trying to keep up a relationship and friendships and trying not to lose my shit at work and it's enough to make me want to check into River Oaks for a nice long vacation with some Klonopin or Ativan or something. How does anyone do this with kids? How do you keep everything together? The only thing more exhausting then getting your shit together is realizing you have to keep it together. I also have this terribly paranoid thought that the second I get everything straight, I'm just going to die. Irony is always lurking around the corner, waiting for a good BOO-YA! moment.

The busiest time of year for me usually kicks off around January, because that's when Con comes, but it looks like I'm starting early. I'm going to the Oddities expo tomorrow (alone, because Sid is working, but that's okay) and next weekend is the girls' breakfast and then hair and nails and Destin, then my anniversary, then Aladdin, then my birthday. Then Halloween, Dad's birthday, Christmas, Con, maybe Le Miserables. Trying to book a trip to Colorado in spring. Right now we're in the process of trying to get a new mattress, then fixing the floor in the bedroom. There was talk about some furniture rearranging, with maybe a bar (lmao like that'll last) and an aquarium. And the fucking laundry just looms over all of it. I told myself I'd start working on it tonight but we all know I'm just going to work on my site, pretend grapes are an acceptable substitute for chocolate and wash my hair. It's my fault, really. And Sid's, for being unable to resist the siren call of superhero t-shirts.

I'm very much looking forward to my vacation, but in the back of my head my inner control freak is shrieking, "START PACKING TWO WEEKS AHEAD OF TIME! DON'T FORGET THE TANNING OIL! MAKE SURE YOU CLEAN THE HOUSE!" And I'm all 'Dude, chill the fuck."

I'm so tired, I don't even have time to miss you.

Which works out fine, because you don't miss me either.

let's keep it that way.

-Rae