she's a maniac

Con ticket/hotel room obtained ✔️

All Xmas presents bought✔️

Xmas bonus successfully spent✔️

Universal and Jack dog haircut next.

Training new front desk is exhausting, but at least the girl is intelligent and catches on quickly. End of the year is coming and Karen will be off so I have to somehow train the new girl and do insurance stuff too. It's going to be a bad week, but at least I'm off that Friday and the next day is con. Hoping that glitter girl isn't there anymore-I can't afford to spend any more goddamn money. Disney is the goal.

Yesterday was a big surprise since Kurry materialized out of nowhere and wanted to go out to eat with us, so I met up with him and Scott at my apartment after work. Brad came over and we hung out while we waited for Liz to get off of work, then we all went to Hooters, where I had a very delicious Jack Daniels mai tai, but I'm not a big fan of Hooters, so the food was kind of meh. My fries tasted like a a hospital, if that makes any sense. After eating we decided to go to GameStop to pick up Brad's Switch and a few games that Liz wanted. While they were in there I ran to CVS across the street for a few things, and then that Gamestop didn't have the games Liz wanted, so we decided to take a ride to Elmwood. She got what she wanted and we went to Rouses so I could get grapes, my fancy cheese (addicted to that shit) and some of that Skrewball peanut butter whiskey. I wanted the bougie chocolate milk (fucking Bryan) but I didn't see any until Scott went back there with his tall ass and found the last bottle all the way in the back. Liz and Brad dropped us off and Scott and I watched the newest episode of the Mandelorian before going to sleep.

I woke up early and had to go to Walmart, Target, the other Walmart, then Rouses, came back here and cleaned up and took a shower, washed Jack, and dicked around until Scott left, then brought Jack to Petsmart so we could get a Santa picture (he was not amused at all) and now I'm chillin' until Lacey comes over so we can finalize Disney plans. My very sweet coworker Sam came to work yesterday and surprised me with a black Christmas tree, as well as ornaments, so tomorrow during our Disney meeting I'm going to see if I can get Riley's attention long enough to help me decorate it.

I guess I'm doing all right, just waiting to get done with this fucking month, Christmas was always stressful for me but now it's magnified x1000 since I'm all on my own. After January 4th I'm going to sleep until I leave for Disney. 

I don't know what's going to happen anymore. The universe seems to have spoken, but what do you do when you don't like what it says? Instead of moving forward, it seems to be going backward. I do not regret my life so far, despite what has happened. I have only the most rudimentary grasp of control over what happens next. Instead of praying for someone else (they only come when you are ready) I pray to keep my hunger for experience, since that leads you everywhere. 

-Rae