itchy and scratchy show

Today has been a fucking clusterfuck.

This morning I woke up and Jack had a really bad sore at the base of his tail. I've been bandaging it and putting medicine on it but evidently he had a scratching fit in the middle of the night. I gave him a Benadryl, bandaged it up again, and left and went to Walmart to see if I could find him some flea pills too. They only had topical and I don't like the topical because it makes his hair all nasty. I decided to go to Petco on my lunch break. Got to work and watching him on camera and he's like crying and howling like something is wrong so I had to leave work and go check on him because the way he was crying was freaking me out. I decided to give him a very quick bath with the oatmeal and flea shampoo to soothe his skin. When I did that I took off my badge so it wouldn't get in the way. Of course, I left my badge there. When I got back to work I watched him on the camera and he would NOT STOP SCRATCHING. It was making me into a nervous wreck. I don't want him to get an infection. By the time my lunch rolled around I was itching my ass off and desperate to make him feel better. I went to Petco and got him some flea pills and inflatable collar, which was a chance buy because of how weird Jack is and I had to hope against hope he wouldn't toss it off. Ran all the way home. To my utter shock, he LIKES the collar. Bandaged his tail up and put some more medicine on it, gave him a pill, and ran back to work. He's actually falling asleep with the collar on, not even trying to scratch, as docile as can be.

Andddd I just fucking jinxed myself because he pulled it off and now he's working on his tail again and there's nothing I can do. He's howling and barking his ass off and part of me thinks he understands on some rudimentary level that I'm watching him or I'm present (since I can talk to him via the camera) and he's being dramatic, as he's prone to be, but it makes me feel like I'm the worst fucking owner ever.

I'm so fucking frustrated. I JUST WANT TO DO THE RIGHT FUCKING THING. If I lose Jack to some stupid infection or something, I don't know what'll happen.

-Rae