freaks n geeks

This weekend I had the best time at the Oddities Fest.

Woke up very early Saturday, got dressed, went to get money order to pay rent. When I got back to my apartment I realized the damn girl at Walmart didn't put the right amount on the damned thing, so I had to go back to get a money order for $20 more. I hope Sunlake doesn't give me any shit about it. Invited Sid, since he didn't get to go last time. Set up my bills, got dressed, he came over, Lacey came over, printed out our tickets, and headed over to Westwego. We got there right when it opened and we were not disappointed at all. It was in two halls instead of one this year, and I saw a lot that I wanted. I got an octopus scroll, two sets of glasses-one little mini wine glasses with skulls on them,and two little reddish black goblets that look like they came out of Game of Thrones. I love them. We wanted to watch the suspension presentation but they weren't on till 2 and we were done seeing everything by 12:30, so we decided to leave and get some food. Went and got some Buffalo Wild Wings (lemon tenders yum) and then decided to haul ass and go back to watch it, since our tickets allowed for re-entry. Got there and met up with Glenn, Derek and Zack. Hung out until it was time for the presentation. The girl stuck herself in both knees with these huge closepin looking needles and then walked around like that. We were all sucking our teeth. I took a picture with a stuffed coyote named Lucifer. I had seen a really cute skull cake stand at the same booth where I got my glasses and I wanted it so I went back and got it. Not sure what I'll put in there given that I don't usually bake but it was way too adorable. I wanted to get these really awesome bright blue 3d printed earrings, but I am trying to restrain myself for Disney, so I held off. I really don't wear earrings enough to justify $55 ones. We left and then went to Luling to get a check from Mom and then got back to my place and watched some Disney Star Wars merch videos on youtube. Sid left, Scott came over, and then Lacey left. Watched some Hell's Kitchen, I made some french bread pizza, then took a ride with him to get his own pizza and snowballs. The night did not end very well, but considering I had such a good day I'm past it now.

It makes me sound like a psycho for saying this

But it almost felt like old times.

Woke up Sunday, had tickets to go see It: 2 again with Scott, but we stopped at At Home first because I have a cool CCR poster I wanted to get a frame for. They didn't have one, but I found some cool looking plastic skulls that I can put in my little cake stand. Went to go watch movie-it was good but after you've seen it once, it kinda drags. After the movie we went to Barnes and Noble, where I toyed with getting a CK Funko Pop, but once again I fought against the urge. What the fuck do I need a Funkopop for? I also wanted to get The Dirt book but held out against that too, and good thing because I found a free PDF of it on the way home. After that we were quite hungry so Scott suggested RnOs, and we both got roast beef poboys with potato salad, it was quite delicious. Then we went to Spirit Halloween store, where I once more resisted the urge with this super cute octopus skeleton thing, and then we went to Lakeside, where I got some Godiva and then we ate some beignets. By the time we got back to Sunlake, I was whipped. Watched the end of Hell's Kitchen and then sacked out. Monday once more. Time for more surveys.

This coming weekend is Alligator Fest and I want to go simply just to get some fried oreos and a cheese pocket or two. May not ride any rides, idk. And I definitely want to go to the cemetery this weekend to decompress. I've been feeling that it's been getting marginally cooler outside, which is a fucking relief because I'm ready for hoodie weather.

It's the first time since I moved out that I don't feel as if I'm dying with anxiety about money. I'm getting very good with juggling my bills and since I dumped Regions I haven't had one problem with overdrafting. I wish I would have left them sooner, but nothing can be done about that. The surveys are helping out big time too. Good pocket money for when I need little things, like water or lemonade packs. I also found an app where I take pictures of all my receipts and it gives me points which in turn gives me gift cards. Using Ibotta also helps. I took my credit card and I put it somewhere safe with a post it note that says DISNEY, ASSHOLE!! on it so if I get a wild hair up my ass and want something stupid, I remember what I'm saving up for. If it can't be bought with survey money or whatever else is left over on payday, I don't need it. I also asked for Disney gift cards for my birthday, NOT CASH. If I get cash I'm going to go buy a Disney or Universal gift card with it. Self sabotage all the way. I may only need to put out $100 for my plane ticket so whatever's left of that (if I don't spend it at Big Easy) I am going to buy some Xmas presents with it. Incidentally, Tee's baby shower is on the same day as Big Easy but I don't want to miss it so I'm going to have to do both. I have to go find a gift for them.

Things are still not too great in my head but I am trying to remind myself that this was all done for a reason and the reason still stands but it gets awfully hard when I have such good days like Saturday. It's not as if I have a choice to crumble right now. Sometimes that's what's hard about depression-you want to crumble so badly, but if you have any sense of survival, it won't let you. Sometimes this all seems like such a waste, and forcing myself to stand back is almost more than I can take, but I have to. Whatever happens in the future depends on how things go right now. The main objective is to keep busy. The holidays are approaching so I have plenty to juggle.

But all my instincts are still rooted very deeply, and it's hell trying to fight them back.

In the words of Tony Soprano, whaddya gonna do, eh?

-Rae